another weekend of me on the wireless

I'll be on 790 KABC radio (and streaming on the net at KABC.COM and itunes radio/KABC) tonight from 7-10 pacific. Since it's the Valentine's Day weekend I'll be discussing love and romance -- two subjects I know even less about than cars.

Sunday I'm hosting my regular sportstalk show from 5-8 (what better way to celebrate my birthday than discuss Dodger pitching concerns?). And Monday night I'm on again from 7-10. I have no clue what I'll be talking about.

Hey Hawkeye, who are all those people laughing? I don't see anybody.

What better way to kick off the Presidents Day weekend than with a few Friday questions?

Rob starts it off:

Why has reality TV lasted so long? Is the amount of money that can be made from the show really that much more than what could be made off the Simpsons, MASH, or heck, even According to Jim?

Reality shows are CHEAP to produce and people are watching them. But you’re right that they have a very short shelf life. Sitcoms play much better in reruns. There are cable channels replaying reality shows but in general they don’t draw good numbers. Even mega hits like AMERICAN IDOL, who’s going to watch old Bucky Covington performances?

But in this day and age, CHEAP is a big selling point to networks.

I do feel that the novelty of the genre has worn off and there is the danger of over-saturation. Already we can see that scripted shows are starting to make a comeback. Let’s hope that trend continues.

From LeeFranke:

Your thought on this pearl of wisdom from the internet. "Multi-cam and single cam sitcoms are very different formats. Single cams feel weird with laugh tracks, but multi-cams feel weirder without."

Single camera shows do feel weird with laugh tracks. Where are the people coming from? That was always my beef on MASH. Were there bleachers on the chopper pad? You destroy the reality when you add disembodied voices laughing.

Multi-camera shows are shot in front of a studio audience. They’re more like plays. So the laughter is coming from real people. Without that laughter the shows would feel very hollow.

There are some multi-camera shows that block-and-shoot, which means no studio audience. You do miss something without the audience but usually those shows have so many scenes that a studio audience would go batshit having to sit through all them. HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER is an example. So it’s a trade-off. They’re able to tell better stories without the restrictions an audience imposes but they sacrifice the spontaneity and energy a group of people can offer the actors.

SEINFELD did a mixture of block-and-tape and scenes shot in front of an audience.

Most multi-camera shows will pre-shoot tricky or outside scenes and show them back to the audience on filming night. And those scenes usually don’t get a great audience reaction. On BECKER there were a few times when I had to do car scenes and instead of showing the pre-shoot, we just put the actors in chairs and told the crowd it’s a simulation of the scene. Invariably those scenes would play better than pre-shoots to the audience because they were live. Or the chairs were funny.

And finally, Steve B. asks:

Here's my question, Ken: How do you do this? To me, your level of output on this blog is pretty amazing, especially during baseball season when you have so many other responsibilities. How hard is it for you to switch hats, and how much time do you devote to the blog? Do you treat this like a hobby, or more like a full-time commitment?

I view this blog as stretching exercises for writers. It usually takes me between a half hour to an hour to write a daily post. I also try to have a few in the bank in case I’m actually required to do something that day. The hardest part is coming up with ideas for entries. And it depends on what’s going on. There are some weeks when there’s so much happening I post more than once a day; other times I’m going through my files seeing if there’s a scene from our TORTELLIS episode I could re-print.

But it’s fun (mostly) and I love having an outlet, although I’m forever amazed that anybody gives a shit what I think about anything.

Update: There's another major point I want to make about the comedy test. Check back later this evening for that. Thanks.

My reaction to YOUR reactions

Thanks so much to all of you for your feedback on THE HONEYMOONERS scene. Your comments collectively were better than any post I could write on changing tastes of comedy and just how subjective humor is. I also found your explanations fascinating and in many cases very insightful.

Some people were a little dismissive but I guess that’s to be expected. I would hope you at least recognize that at one time this scene was (and for many people still “is”) a classic.

Thanks again. It’s always nice when the teacher learns from the students.

And of course, more comments are welcome.

Update: There's another major point I want to make with this test. Check back Friday evening for that. Thanks.

Comedy test: Do you find this funny?

In the past I've raved about THE HONEYMOONERS. This was a sitcom from the early days of television starring Jackie Gleason and Art Carney. Usually the comments I receive on this show vary from "this show is a classic" to "what's the big deal over this crap?"

So today I thought I'd try one of my little experiments. Here's a short scene from one of the episodes. Norton (Carney) tries to teach Ralph (Gleason) how to play golf.

I've seen it a thousand times, maybe two. It still makes me laugh. But how about you? Is this truly funny or a product of its time? LOL or lame? I'd love reactions from all ages, especially younger reader (Generation X through Super Bowl XXX). So if you wouldn't mind taking a couple of minutes, could you please check this out, and let me know what you think? Many thanks. There are no right answers. As always, I have nothing to give away. I'm a cheap blog. But together we may just unlock the secret of comedy. Or not and I move on to something else tomorrow.

Thanks again. And awayyyyyyyy weee go!

Update: There's another major point I want to make with this test. Check back Friday evening for that. Thanks.

AMERICAN IDOL starring Ellen DeGeneres

It was Hollywood Week – 181 inbred poodles in a box all vying for one Air Kong Squeaker Fetch Stick. This is where we get to see the dreams of157 young people dashed and beauty shots of the Griffith Park Observatory.

But that’s not the big story. Excuse me, the BIG story!!

According to Ryan, this was the moment all of America has been waiting for. The suspense has been killing us! Just how would Ellen DeGeneres do replacing Paula Abdul? It's amazing any work got done at all the last few months.

Well breathe easy, America. She did fine. She’s got a brain. She’s got ears. She says funny things sometimes. Considering the caliber of American Idol judges (other than Simon) that makes her Mozart. And now that there finally is someone on the panel who has something to offer, Kara really disappears into the woodwork; confirming what we all knew – she’s as useless as cufflinks on pants.

The Ryan Seacrest hyperbole was flying. Adding to the pressure, Ryan said the kids were performing on “the most hi-profile stage in the world – the Kodak Theatre.” Uh, what about Carnegie Hall? Or the Kennedy Center? Or London Palladium? Or any other major venue that was built before 2001? Yes, they hold the Academy Awards there but also the Vanilla Ice concert.

By and large there are some terrific singers this go-round, although there were the usual band of idiots, probably selected more for their ability to cry than sing.

Poor Vanessa. She’s the country girl from Tennessee who had never been on an aero-plane. She flamed out. The movie of her life will not be A STAR IS BORN. It will be DELIVERANCE.

One guy sang while his wife was in labor. He made it through. Several girls sang like they were in labor. They did not make it through.

But the ones who were good and didn’t have moronic names like Skibowski were very good.

Andrew Garcia, a likable lug in Lew Wasserman glasses did an acoustic version of “Straight Up” that was far better than the original. So not only was Ellen DeGeneres better than Paula Abdul. Andrew Garcia was too.

Didi Benami, a waitress from Los Angeles, made a Kara-written song sound good, which puts her on a plane with the guy who created fuel out of manure.

Crystal Bowersox did “Natural Woman” better than thirty-five other Idol contestants but not as good as sixteen more.

I really liked Janell Wheeler, a country singer with a nice tone. I forget if she was the one with nine brothers, nine kids, or survived a wood chipper accident.

Another favorite was Lilly Scott although I have this sneaking suspicion it’s really Tracey Ullman in a silver wig.

Tonight is “Group Night”. Let me just review it now. There will be ten meltdowns, two girls who turn into psycho bitches, one who bounces from group to group, two guys who are tired and go to bed early, three groups that forget the words, one group that is horrible but advances anyway, two singers who have laryngitis, and now that Paula’s no longer on the show, six guys who sleep with her. Tell me if I'm right. I'll be watching MODERN FAMILY.

My thoughts on the Super Bowl beating the laast MASH

A lot of people have asked me what I thought of Sunday’s Super Bowl eclipsing the final MASH as the most watched television show of all-time. A little like the 72 Dolphins actually. Even though I had left MASH by then (the last episode my partner and I wrote was GOODBYE RADAR for season 8) it was nice to know that I was associated with such an esteemed record.

Damn!

If only the WHO had guested on our final episode! If only we could have slipped in an anti-abortion ad right after the scene where the Korean woman chokes the child! If only we had done the show live! If only Peyton Manning had played Hawkeye! Or the Korean woman!

Oh well. At least we lost out to the Super Bowl… and not say THE HILLS episode when Heidi Montag returns for the first time after her plastic surgery.

Jesus! Now I have to compete with Julienne Moore too?

Last week I talked about how hard it is to land a pilot if you’re starting from the bottom (and again, best of luck to you hearty souls). Today I want to focus on the other extreme – those actors who view pilots as a come-down. In other words, movie stars, or to be more precise -- former movie stars.

Networks are completely enamored by movie stars. On the food chain of entertainment it goes like this: Movies, Television, Street Performing, Radio. Movies look down at television. Television looks up at movies with awe. Forget that more money is made in television; the movie parties are cooler, the vacation spots more European, and no one blames you for SO YOU WANT TO BE IN A JAPANESE GAME SHOW.

But for movie stars, television is an admission that you’re no longer hot. Poor Candace Bergen, she had to do a series. Meanwhile, Candace Bergen got crazy rich, was seen and loved by millions of people weekly, and got to perform better material than what was out there for her in features. It’s a dirty little secret but in success, television is the best! Never do you have to spend ten grueling months on location making SAHARA.

My partner and I used to have a saying when we were toiling in TV: “They’ll all come to us eventually.” Whoopi, Faye Dunaway, Alec Baldwin, Christian Slater, Charlie Sheen, James Woods, Holly Hunter, Jason Lee, Elizabeth Perkins, Kiefer Sutherland, Don Sutherland, Glenn Close, the Little Mermaid – the list is endless. Then there’s the roll call of former TV stars who left the little box for movies and then returned. David Caruso, everyone from FRIENDS but Jennifer, Mary Tyler Moore, Chevy and every third SNL alum.

I understand the attraction from the networks’ perspective. Movie stars (even those now relegated to Jonas Brothers movies) bring recognition, a ready-made fan base, and many are truly great actors. They achieved their big screen success for a reason.

And you always want the girl who says “no”.

We TV producers would receive confidential lists every year of the (former) movie stars who might be ready to surrender to riches and greater fame than they’ve ever had. Next to their names would be comments. “Still a year away”, “Will consider if show is built around her,” “Must have a series commitment”, “Must have firm offer”, “Needs January off to ski”. My favorite was a C-list actress at best – this woman never starred in a movie in her heyday, who said she “Would meet with A-list writers ONLY.” Two years later she was reading for parts.

But every year a new crop of movie stars succumbs. And we’re delighted to have them (unless they’re monsters but that’s another story). This year we welcome Julianne Moore, Laura Linney, and Matthew Broderick. And we welcome back Thomas Hayden Church. Their names attached to projects automatically give them a big leg up. And that’s fine if you – working actor – happen to get cast in one of their pilots. It’s not so fine if you’re in the pilot competing against Matthew Broderick’s.

But here’s an interesting dynamic that I’ve observed. Let’s say you’re a (former) movie star. The networks will romance you like crazy. They’ll wine and dine you, invite you to fly on the company jet, give you front row tickets to the Super Bowl or World Series or (only if you’ve won an Oscar) Lakers tickets. They’ll treat you like royalty – y’know, the way you used to be treated. They’ll fawn all over you during the making of the pilot. You’ll get muffin baskets just for scratching your ass. You’ll be saying, why didn’t I do this before I spent the last three years making AMERICAN PIE 6, 7, and 8?

But once the pilot is made and in the can, all bets are off. If they like it, great. You’re on the air. More muffins. But if they don’t, suddenly your (former) movie star power disappears. The project and you are quickly discarded. You’re saying, “Hey, wait a minute. You said I would be the face of the network. You said you would build your whole fall campaign around me. There’d be a billboard in Times Square. I could host the Rose Parade. I could sing a duet with Garth Brooks at the launch party. And now you’re saying I have to be out of the hotel by noon and pay for my own flight home?”

Yep.

But fear not because there are four networks, four company jets, and numerous cable outlets. Sooner or later you will get on television. Hopefully sooner because Kate Hudson, Jack Black, the Rock, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sean William Scott, Vin Diesel, Ashley Judd, Greg Kinnear, Hillary Duff, Anna Paquin, Aaron Eckhart, Nicole Kidman, Mike Myers, and the current governor of California can’t be too far behind.