LOST is back!!!

My favorite show is back! LOST returns tonight for its final season. We’ll finally get the answers to all of its many delicious mysteries.

Is Terry O’Quinn playing Locke or Jacob or Vin Diesel this year?

How will Sun and Jin patch up their marital problems now that she’s in 2004 and he’s in 1977? Might Jin cheat on her knowing she’d never find out because she hasn’t been born yet?

Is FLASH FORWARD just a blatant rip-off?

Will all the cast members who have died come back for a talent show episode?

Would my inflamed cornea be instantly healed if I were on the island?

Will it turn out “the numbers” are just the miles over the speed limit Michelle Rodriquez was caught driving during her various arrests?

Will Kate stop fooling herself and hook up with Hurley already? The sexual tension is killing us!

When some developer built that housing project, how did they expect anyone to come to the Open House when it’s on an island that may not even exist? Where do they put the signs and flags?

Will the hydrogen bomb blast transport series regulars back from the past into the present? Will they be killed? Or will they all be scattered about on other ABC series the way Elizabeth Mitchell wound up on V?

Will Disney try to get the most out of the franchise and mount a Broadway musical of LOST?

Isn’t it time to introduce twelve new regular cast members?

Will someone finally pull that stick out of Jack’s ass and is the stick itself significant?

Why did the ABC President who greenlit and picked up LOST get fired?

Why doesn’t Richard Alpert age? Is he really Catherine DeNeneuve?

Can the polar bear do tricks?

Is Ben also responsible for the latest Supreme Court ruling on campaign contributions?

Why wasn’t Sayid on Oceanic’s no-fly list?

Why does the statue only have four toes? Was this a budget thing?

If Ethan is dead how come I see him all the time at the gym?

If the Others thought they were the only ones on the island why did they call themselves “the Others”?

Why hasn’t Kate Hudson dated Sawyer yet?

Is Claire really Jack’s sister or his former wife, also named Claire now married to Phil on MODERN FAMILY?

Does Oceanic charge extra for check-in luggage?

What will I do with my life when LOST finally goes off the air?