Larry Gelbart

Larry Gelbart passed away this morning. He was 81. He was a dear friend, mentor, inspiration, and the finest writer I've ever met. I'll write more about him in the days to come. At the moment I'm just too devastated. My sincere condolences to his family and friends.

9-11 and David & Lynn Angell

This is a re-post but I will probably be re-posting it every year on this date.

9/11 affected us all, profoundly and in many cases personally. Two of my dear friends were on flight 11. David and Lynn Angell. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought of them, missed them, and not felt grateful that they were in my life.

David and I worked together on CHEERS, WINGS, and FRASIER (the latter two he co-created). We used to call him the “dean”. In his quiet way he was the one we always looked to for final approval of a line or a story direction. He brought a warmth and humanity to his writing that hopefully rubbed off on the rest of us “schickmeisters”. And he could be funny – sneaky funny. During long rewrite sessions he tended to be quiet. Maybe two or three times a night he’d pitch a joke – but they were always the funniest jokes of the script.

For those of you hoping to become comedy writers yourselves, let David Angell be your inspiration. Before breaking in he worked in the U.S. Army, the Pentagon, an insurance firm, an engineering company, and then when he finally moved out to L.A. he did “virtually every temp job known to man” for five years. Sometimes even the greatest talents take awhile to be recognized.

I first met David the first season of CHEERS. He came in to pitch some stories. He had been recommended after writing a good NEWHART episode. This shy quiet man who looked more like a quantum physics professor than a comedy writer, slinked into the room, mumbled through his story pitches, and we all thought, “is this the right guy? He sure doesn’t seem funny.” Still, he was given an assignment (“Pick a con…any con”) and when the script came back everyone was just blown away. He was quickly given a second assignment (“Someone single, someone blue”) and that draft came back even better. I think the first order of business for the next season was to hire David Angell on staff.

After 9/11, David’s partners Peter Casey & David Lee called me and my partner into their office. There was a FRASIER script David Angell was about to write. (It was the one where Lilith’s brother arrived in a wheelchair and became an evangelist. Michael Keaton played the part.) Peter & David asked if we would write it and for me that was a greater honor than even winning an Emmy.

David’s wife, Lynn, was also an inspiration. She devoted her life to helping others – tirelessly working on creating a children’s library and a center that serves abused children.

My heart goes out to their families. To all of the families.

I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

So tragic, so senseless, and even eight years later, so inconceivable.

What's the best spec to write?

Hello from San Francisco where I’m with the Dodgers. They don’t seem to like the Dodgers very much up here for some reason. Anyhoo, here are some Friday Q & A’s. Remember, registration for the SITCOM ROOM opens Monday morning at 9 AM PDT. As long as I don’t wear a Dodger cap around the bay area I should be alive to conduct the seminar.

From David:

I was hoping Ken would name some current shows that make good specs. Which sitcoms? 1-hour procedurals? How about new hits (that are renewed) like Eastbound and Down? What if all my favorite shows are on cable, like Flight of the Concords? OK to spec them, even if they're not as well-known as 2 1/2 Men? Etc.

First off, write the genre you feel you’re strongest in. If comedy is your gift, don’t write a spec CSI. If you have a flair for procedurals, don’t write a TIL DEATH (well, don’t write a TIL DEATH anyway). I’m going to focus on comedy since I know that world. Is CSI: MIAMI a better spec to write than CSI: NEW YORK? I have no idea.

Above all else, write the show you like the best, have the best feel for, and will best showcase your strengths. That trumps what I’m about to say now.

It generally helps to write specs for shows that are either big hits, highly regarded in the industry, or are on the upward rise. In general, try to avoid shows on their last legs. SCRUBS for example. Broadcast networks or cable, it makes no difference these days. Most showrunners get cable.

The advantage of hit shows is that producers all over town are probably familiar with them and are fans. It’s less of a chore to read than some show they never watch, have no idea who the characters are, etc.

So which hit show should you write? Again, it depends on you and your comic sensibility. Multi-camera shows like BIG BANG THEORY tend to go for big jokes. The OFFICE is more subtle and derives its humor from watching people squirm in embarrassing situations. 30 ROCK is more freewheeling. CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM is built on anger. ENTOURAGE plays the hip card. HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER and IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA are both about young people who hang out in a bar but their tones are very different. Which do you identify with most? There’s no right answer.

And then there’s the hour sorta-comedies like MONK and PSYCHE. They tend to be more whimsical than funny but require very clever storytelling.

I’m not a big fan of writing animated specs like FAMILY GUY or THE SIMPSONS unless you hope to get a job on an animated show. If I have a live show I want to see if this writer can write real people.

Hope that helps and you’re not saying, “Hey, he didn’t answer my question at all! I want names!” You don’t get points for picking “the right show” you get points for doing a sensational job. Choose the show that allows you do that… although, seriously, stay away from TIL DEATH.

And Steve B. has a good question.

Ken, ever have a lean period in your career? You know, one of those years when it seems that everyone in town has a gig, but you're left standing on the sideline? How do you deal with it, and how do you push yourself to keep moving forward?

David and I have had some down periods. All writers have them. There have been years when we couldn’t get a pilot made and no one was buying our spec screenplays. Seeing what did get bought and made didn’t help our dispositions either.

Our way of fighting through it was to just keep busy. Keep working on new projects. You never know which thing will hit but the more you have out there, the better your chances. It’s also a business where responses and decisions are not always prompt. If you write one script and just sit by the phone waiting for that big offer you’ll wind up covered in cobwebs. Better to occupy your mind with another project while you wait (endlessly) for reaction to your first script. If they buy it, great. If not, you're almost ready to step up to the plate with a new project.

Sometimes it is hard to keep going, especially when assholes far less talented than you are getting breaks but it’s all cyclical. You’ll rise again.

What’s your question? Leave it in the comments section. Thanks much.

My first "dirty" movie

Here's another excerpt from the book I'm writing on growing up in L.A. in the 60s. I had just turned 16.
One day I read in the paper that a new French movie was opening called THE GAME IS OVER. The review mentioned that Jane Fonda starred and was naked in quite a few scenes. This I HAD to see!

It was only playing at one art theater on La Brea in Hollywood. Damn! Why couldn’t it be at the Baronet (the local art theater that showed Fellini films to empty seats)?

I knew mom and dad wouldn’t let me borrow the car to see Jane Fonda’s vagina on the big screen and besides, it was only playing “over the hill” (anything not in the San Fernando Valley was considered "over the hill". But when you're nervous about driving that "hill" might as well have been the Andes).

So I convinced Lester Nafybal who worked with me at Wallichs Music City and was a grown up at 19 to take me in exchange for gas, dinner, and tickets.

Ohmygod!

If God can create a creature like this and in His divine mercy allow me to see her naked on a diving board, then He must truly exist.

For several days after I walked with a swagger. Yes, I was still a virgin and no, that wasn’t about to change anytime soon – but I was different, changed. I had become a man. I had seen a French movie.

The Top 10 Sinatra Songs of all-time!

I see in this week’s ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY that they rank the top 50 Beatles songs. Wow. I didn’t know you could do that. I thought it was impossible to judge “She Loves You” against “A Day in the Life” and decide which is better but hot damn, you CAN!

So here for the first time (as chosen by me) is the DEFINITIVE list of the top 10 all-time best Frank Sinatra songs. This was not easy to accomplish because between 1940-1964 Sinatra recorded every song ever written. But still I have narrowed them down and have selected the very best of the best. See if you don’t agree.

1. ONE FOR MY BABY – the greatest torch song EVER, sung with such underplayed emotion it rips your heart out every time.

2. BIM BAM BABY -- Sinatra’s gift was his interpretation of lyrics. He was never more masterful than singing “Hey now, take a mip mack mop, and a brim bram broom/And klim klam clean up the rim ram room/ Cause your bim bam baby`s coming home tonight.”

3. I’VE GOT YOU UNDER MY SKIN – Backed with a swinging Nelson Riddle arrangement, this record is 50s perfection.

4. MAMA WILL BARK – Another masterpiece of lyric interpretation. “Ow, you out there/This is for keeping me awake every night, hah/ Well, take that! Yelp! And take that. Yelp. And take that. Yelp. Yelp, yelp, yelp, yelp, yelp, yelp. Hot dog, woof.”

5. MRS. ROBINSON – Frank bails out that hack lyricist Paul Simon by improving several of the stanzas. “Jilly loves you more than you will know” and my favorite addition: “How’s your bird, Mrs. Robinson?” Oh, and I'm reminded by a reader: "And you'll get yours Mrs. Robinson / Foolin' with that young stuff like you do / Woo woo woo..."

6. BANG BANG – Sinatra covers that big Cher anti-war Russian folk song by turning it into a haunting ballad. Someone should digitally merge both versions. Now THAT’S a duet!

7. THE KIDS ARE TWISTING – It's the record that started an entire dance craze.

8. L.A. IS MY LADY – Unlike those pale tributes to New York and Chicago this is the one Frank is famous for. There’s little wonder they play it at Dodger Stadium. What is curious is that they only play it when they lose.

9. SATISFY ME ONE MORE TIME – No one can sing a love song like Frank. Gals, how can you hear these words and not swoon? “Let’s smother each other in a good old stranglehold.” Or.. “Compromise me, vandalize me, have a ball”.

10. I LOVE PARIS (LIVE VERSION) – Not many people can improve on Cole Porter lyrics but then most people aren’t Sinatra. “Holy Christ, how I love Paris”.

Did I miss anything? I don't think so.

Info on the next SITCOM ROOM seminar & writing tweets

Because of my baseball schedule I can only do it once a year and this year it'll be on the weekend of November 14th in Los Angeles. Like before, registration is limited to just twenty.

Registration opens Noon EDT / 9AM Pacific, Monday, September 14 and closes as soon as twenty have signed up. If the past is any indication, that should be just a could of days.

I'm also planning to kick off the pre-SITCOM ROOM festivities with a live webcast on Wednesday (or tomorrow, which ever comes first). Everyone is welcome to join in for some fun behind-the-scenes stuff, even taking live questions from you guys. It's FREE.

Anyway, to get all the details, go here to the SITCOM ROOM website. And to get on the Alert List (where you get updates even before we know them), just go to the Sitcom Room Alert List. That's also where you'll get the scoop on how to access the free webcast.

Hope to see you. Now for actual content. I have a Twitter account for the SITCOM ROOM (I am SO social) and offer daily writing tweets. Here are a few of them.

When jokes don't work you can often blame the set up.

When pitching a joke in the room, never stand up. It better be damn good if you do.

Women writers are just as funny as men.

Always play characters to the top of their intelligence. Even the dumb ones.

Two pages can come out of every script. Page 11 and another one.

I'd put the first year of CHEERS up against the best year of any series.

Laugh at runthroughs, even at the stuff that sucks and you'll change.

Do not give athlete guest stars big jokes to do.

Average time to beat out a story: three days. And then two to change it.

Best punch up guy in television history: Bob Ellison.

When writing dialog, the hell with grammar. Write the way people talk.

When an actor is delivering a big joke, invariably an extra will walk right in front of him.

“One percenters”: jokes that only six people in America will get. But boy will those six laugh.

TV tapings are free. If you’re in LA go see one.

What Hollywood did on its summer vacation

As the Labor Day weekend winds down, we welcome back... HOLLYWOOD. As everyone in the industry knows, from July 4th until Labor Day, H'Wood shuts down for vacation. The only reason it resumes in early September is so everyone can get back to their offices and prepare to go off to the Toronto Film Festival.

So where did they go? Well, there’s always the usual suspects. The Four Seasons Maui and the Big Island of Hawaii. Jackson Hole, Wyoming for those who look good in jeans. The south of France, Tuscany, and Cape Cod but only if you can rent a house that’s at least a hundred years old and is wired for broadband. The Hamptons, once a mainstay is now iffy. Spielberg was on the fence as to whether it’s still hip. A a number of agents and producers rented homes in Maine as well this year, just in case.

African safaris have become passé. Someone found out about the San Diego Zoo. And Africa in general is losing its luster since several features made there tanked domestically. Lake Cuomo in Italy is by Clooney-invitation-only. India took a hit after SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (there are some poor sections -- Yuck!!). Santa Fe is no fun now that Julia Roberts has screaming kids running around. And Cancun is jejune.

But this year the new hot sexy destination was Uruguay. Everyone’s got to check out Uruguay, man! It’s soooo awesome! Fabulous unspoiled beaches (for now), all that uh, Uruguayan cuisine (steaks), and it only takes 20 hours to get to (it’s at the very bottom of South America).

If you're reading this and you live in Uruguay, I hope you were in the cabana renting business.

How did Uruguay become so hot? My guess is Brian Grazer made a wrong turn in Brazil.

But you heard it here first. Uruguay. In two years Barry Diller and Brad Grey will have homes there. And in three there will be a film festival. So head down there. They'll all be back for the month of December. Join the A-listers. You’ll come back with great stories, a golden tan, and an adopted child.