The latest on women's orgasms!!!!

Bad news guys – according to a recent scientific study, size does matter.

The size of your bank account.

Women experience more orgasms with rich guys. Again, this is from an independent scientific study, not something commissioned by Tom Leykis.

“Women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner,” said Dr Thomas Pollet, the Newcastle University psychologist behind the research.

He believes there is an “evolutionary adaptation” that is hard-wired into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived quality.

So does that mean all women are genetically programmed to be gold-diggers? You mean Paula Fortunato didn’t marry Sumner Redstone, who’s 40 years older and looks like a withered fungo bat, for LOVE? Her divorce coming at the exact moment of the stock market collapse was not purely coincidental?

And can we then assume that all women’s orgasms have been way down since October?

For a long time women were accused of being too superficial, too interested in looks. How great for their esteem and dignity to learn that MONEY is all they care about!

These studies have been conducted in China, America, and Germany – arguably the three most romantic countries in the world.

I’m not quite sure what the testing methods were, maybe comparing wives’ orgasms with their wealthy husbands vs. their gardeners and pool boys. Perhaps researchers walked the corridors of the Four Seasons and the Travelodge comparing the level of shrieking.

But wait. There’s more!

David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas, in his book The Evolution of Desire believes female orgasms have several possible purposes (besides the obvious one – why would they put up with men otherwise?).

“They (the orgasms) could promote emotional bonding with a high-quality male (i.e. one who drives a Ferrari) or they could serve as a signal that women are highly sexually satisfied, and hence unlikely to seek sex with other men,” David Buss said. “What those orgasms are saying is ‘I'm extremely loyal, so you should invest in me and my children’."

Women? Your thoughts?

I contend this study is only partially true. Yes, women do have more orgasms with rich men – more fake orgasms.