Misc.-takes

When Arnold Palmer orders an ice tea/lemonade at a restaurant does he say, “I’ll have a me”?

If you want to see THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 rent the 1974 version on Netflix. I love Denzel Washington but I’m sorry, he’s no Walter Mattau.

Eddie Murphy’s latest family film is another disaster. IMAGINE THAT.

Congratulations to the Lakers, winners of this year’s NBA Finals. The downtown parade is Wednesday. Opening night of the 2009-2010 season is Thursday.

Here’s how crazy they are in Great Britain: When one of their teams wins a national championship they don’t riot, set fires, overturn news vans, or go on looting sprees. And they have the nerve to call themselves sports fans.

The funniest woman in show business is a man. Dame Edna.

The latest reality show woman who is now a man: Chastity Bono.

Jeff Zucker’s continual quest to completely destroy NBC continues. Now he’s sacrificing the 50 year TONIGHT SHOW franchise. Conan O’Brien is already losing to David Letterman. That took long. Two weeks.

So who’s the new King of Late Night Television? Craig Ferguson. I loved his recent monologue. "That’s right,” he said, “I am the new King of Late Night TV. I can hear what you are saying, 'Craig many, many, people get more viewers than you, lots of people in late night, nearly everyone in late night, gets more viewers than you -- how can you be the King of Late Night?’ Cause I have a plan! I put out a press release saying I was the new King Of Late Night. What constitutes royalty in late night television? Saying you are! And as your king I demand you disrobe.”

I had to stop following Alyssa Milano on Twitter. I guess I just don't care what she'd doing... every single minute.

Recent headline in the HuffingtonPost: IOWA WOMAN DISCOVERS NEW CLOUD TYPE

Which network will be the first to blame their shitty ratings on the changeover from analog to digital?

I'm closing in on a date for my free teleseminar. Stay tuned. I just need to confirm when Mercury is in retrograde.

I hate interleague play. It really takes the luster out of that upcoming Cincinnati-Kansas City World Series now that they've met during the regular season.

How soon before dethroned Miss California Carrie Prejean is crowned Miss Texas?

At the new Yankee Stadium drivers pay $19 for parking AFTER the game, as they’re leaving. Yes, it makes getting out of there a three hour affair but the good news is if your car is stolen during the game you save the parking fee! God bless those Yankees. Always thinking of their fans first.

Oh boy! AMERICAN IDOL Season 9 open auditions are going on right now! It’s our national roundup of idiots. Register in Atlanta today and tomorrow.

Red Sox announcers are not thrilled the team drafted Seth Schwindenhammer.

Worst headline ever. Not surprisingly, it’s from the NY Post. This is how they reported David Carradine’s death: HUNG FU.

And finally, I’d like to say hi to all my readers in Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh. This blog is huge in India.