Sunday, January 3, 2010

Did Warren Beatty really sleep with 13,000 women?

Here are some thoughts on Warren Beatty’s claim in his new book that he slept with 13,000 women. I better not hear any of these on Leno and Letterman Monday night. (Conan I don’t care. Nobody watches.) For you gag writer hopefuls this is what we call the mother lode. Weigh in with some of your own.

I find it hard to believe that he has actually slept with 13,000 women. Wilt Chamberlain said he slept with 20,000 women but that you can believe -- he was in the NBA.

Tiger Woods, you've got some ground to make up.

So who hates Warren Beatty more now? Men or women?

He can sleep with 13,000 women. Still, if we find out he's slept with one guy he's gay.

Warren did not however sleep with MacKenzie Phillips.

I don’t think all the members of the The Pacific Coast Obstetrical and Gynecological Society combined have seen 13,000 vaginas.

Warren Beatty is 72, by the way. Or, by his own calculations: 7,639.

Charlie Sheen has slept with fewer women than Warren Beatty but he has been arrested more.

Warren should play David Duchuvny’s father on CALIFORNICATION.

Author Peter Biskind calculates Warren bedded "12,775 women, give or take, a figure that does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on." Drive-bys??? What the hell is a drive-by?

Among his conquests are Jane Fonda, Joan Collins (whom he exhausted…according to HIM), Carly Simon (for whom she wrote “You’re so Vain”), Faye Dunaway (ugh!). Leslie Caron, Candace Bergan, Isabelle Adjani, Julie Christie, Brigitte Bardot, Diane Keaton, Madonna (who hasn’t?), Natalie Wood, Annette Bening (although that one hasn’t been confirmed), and I guess the girl from the In & Out Takeout window.

When Joan Collins was asked if she really had sex with Beatty seven times a day, she replied, "Maybe he did, but I just lay there."

I’m reminded of the great Woody Allen line. “When I die I want to come back as Warren Beatty’s finger.”

13,000. Let's see, that's probably three or four a day for three or four decades, time out to do ISHTAR, LOVE AFFAIR and TOWN AND COUNTRY -- nah, he's lying.

On the other hand, even if he slept with only 10,000 or 9,000 even – that’s more than me.

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